This workshop helps caregivers talk to their youth, of any age, about the Facts of Life and Relationships. Since the vast majority of our kids have trauma deeply embedded in their nervous systems, it is essential to reframe aspects of intimate relationships into every day kinds of events. In this workshop we focus on the 5 Circles of Healthy Relationships. At the center of the five circles, is a circle called, “Values.” Helping a child develop meaningful values is the very best tool we can give them to make good decisions for themselves. The concept of Consent is woven through each circle and relates to children of every age. Asking children if they want to hold hands or be tickled is a great way for them to understand and practice bodily autonomy. A lack of bodily autonomy is correlated with early unwanted pregnancy and perpetuation of sexual abuse and trafficking.
The focus of the first session is on the caregiver and their experiences, thoughts and beliefs about dating, romance, and sex when they were a child. No one is asked to share explicit sexual information, but we do discuss what kind of information we received and whether it was accurate (like “masturbation will make you blind” or “you can’t get pregnant the first time, etc.), from whom you received your information (parents, friends, church, school), and ultimately how much people wished they had had someone, an adult, with whom they could honestly ask these very personal questions.
There is no one way to discuss sexuality with kids. This workshop acknowledges this fact and helps build confidence to say, “I don’t know,” or “Let’s find out,” and “Wow! I am so glad you asked! I have been waiting for you to want this kind of information!” The California state requirement is heavily focused on birth control, which for many youth is out of context and premature. Kids who have been exposed early to sexual behaviors will need someone who understands the 5 Circles of Sexuality to help guide them into their own healthy boundaries.
Nick Lawrence Guest Trainer Nick Lawrence, MA, is the Director of Tools for Life, Inc., a non-profit organization dedicated to helping people thrive! He is a Professional Educator, Emotional Freedom Technique Practitioner, Certified Life Coach and former Director of Foster and Kinship Education at Santa Rosa Junior College. He is a veteran foster parent with 25 years of experience in caregiving as well as Early Childhood, Parent and Trauma Education.
