By: Lindsey Painter, RCS Trainer
The holidays are a time when the world proclaims that you should be feeling JOY! And PEACE! And LOVE!
Those are the themes of the holiday season. And many of us experience joy, peace, and love. But we might also experience stress, frustration, anger, and resentment around the holidays.
Our clients, likewise, often experience challenging feelings and behaviors around the holidays. Foster youth often feel guilty for enjoying their holiday because they feel pulled between their foster and their birth families. Some have traumatic memories related to the holidays, and some feel homesick, because even unsafe families have moments of tenderness and love.
Other clients may feel embarrassed about their lack of money, or ability to provide gifts for their loved ones. All our clients may have an increase in challenging behaviors as the holidays approach including withdrawing, tantrums, aggression, isolating, nightmares, whining, or bed wetting.
Because of these behaviors, resource parents and staff often feel hurt, anger, or confusion. They went to a lot of trouble to make the holidays special. They bought special gifts, spent money, time, and emotional energy. And now their efforts are being rejected.
What can we do to support our clients through the holiday season?
1. Reduce the demands for yourself and for your clients – you don’t have to have a perfect Hallmark Christmas. Let go of that expectation. It will relieve stress for you and your clients.
2. Find out if your client or youth has any holiday traditions that they would like to celebrate. If possible, support them in incorporating these traditions into their holiday celebration.
3. Remind foster youth that they do not have to choose between their foster family and their birth family. – There is enough love to go around for everybody.
4. Follow the client’s lead. If they seem very excited about decorating cookies, be excited with them! If they seem upset or anxious, you may need to let that tradition go this year.
5. Prepare for challenging behaviors – if you prepare yourself ahead of time, you’ll have a better chance of being able to manage your own disappointment and provide support to your client.
Using these tips will help set us and our clients up for success this holiday season. Happy Holidays!
